50 Shades of Batman
by Hotandsexymanmeat
Summary: Series of crack and slash.. Chapter one - Laughing in the face of spandex Batman is in town, horny and looking for love. And it looks like he's found it in a certain spandex wearing individual.


**Disclaimer - don't own Batman. I just like spandex**

**WARNING: This is a parody fiction - you've been warned.**

Robin was dressed in spandex and fishnet tights when Batman pulled up in the bat mobile.

'Hey, want some sugar?'

'Hey sexy, how much for a night...? Oh yeah, it doesn't matter! I'm a freakin' billionaire, baby, hop in.'

Robin did so, with great relish.

'Where are you taking me?' he asked, sliding his hand into Batman's crotch.

'Somewhere real special,'

'What do you mean by that, Batman?' Robin asked, fearfully.

Batman leaned over and whispered erotically into Robin's ear.

'My chamber of dildos,' he licked his lips.

'ohhh!' Robin exclaimed with pleasure.

'Fiesty... I like that in a woman.'

'But I'm not a-'' Robin was silenced by Batman's finger on his plump rosy lips.

'Shh... you don't need to say a thing,'

They drove along in silence as Robin stopped the car, and the two passengers slid forward with a jolt.

'Do that again.' he demanded.

'Do... what?' Robin smiled, cheekily.

'Don't play hard to get with me, Robin,'

Robin nodded solemnly, and swallowed again, this time closing his eyes for effect.

'My raging boner is for you, Robin... I got it just thinking about my mayo in your buns. Kinda like an explosion in the bakery. The bakery being my pants, of course.'

'Of course.'

Robin scratched the hot and sweaty buns in question and leaned over to breath heavily on Batman's face.

'I want you, Batman.'

'Take off your clothes. You want me so bad, you got me.'

'No foreplay? Well, it'll cost you more...'

Batman sighed 'I suppose I could spare a couple of minutes,' he smiled naughtily.

Robin seized Batman's obvious erection and sniffed it sensually. Batman was worried for a second before realising it was okay.. He HAD brought the hot sauce, after all.

He slid his hands into his pants, and Robin almost got over-excited when he saw that the hard erection he was expecting turned out to be nothing but a bottle of hot let go his hard grip on the bottle.

'Oh-oh. For a second there I thought-'

'I knew what you thought, and trust me, this will be so much better,' Batman interrupted, sliding his tongue delicately across Robin's tender neck.

Batman unscrewed the lid was only slowing him down. He wanted all of the hot sauce, and he wanted all of Robin. And he wanted them both, emptied the bottle onto his chest, slowly and paused thoughtfully, about halfway through.

'Hey, did you know that this is a great conditioner? And it really exfoliates your skin! I use it all the time! Want to try some?' Batman asked, and

Robin's eyes widened.'Yes. Oh, please.'After all, he had always admired Batman's smooth skin and luscious hair which was blowing victoriously in the swift breeze. He couln't quite work out why there was a breeze in a car which had the doors shut, but he later realised it had been coming from Robin's sweaty, heated breath.

Robin tore off his spandex and jumped Batman, straddling him with gusto.

'What ho!' he cried, leaping up into Batman's sexy magical chest with amazing skill and daring.

'I'm BATMAN!'

Robin strapped down his penis with a seductive grin as he leaned forward and whispered into Batman's ear.

'Alas, no boner for YOU, darling,'

'What? Why, oh why?! 'Tis a cruel world we live in,' Batman almost broke down into tears, and, as if to console himself, leapt onto his more-than willing companion undelicately.

Robin's nipples were so sharp, you could have sliced your ham on them, and Batman even cut his finger while circling it delicately on and around Robin's rock hard nips.

Batman pretended to be oblivious to Robin's length digging into his hip as he sat further into his seat, undoing the chains covering his penis. Once this was done, he started furiously stroking it. Robin stretched forward to grab it.'Here, allow me.'

'NO!' Batman almost yelled. 'You must sit here and watch me, you hot piece of woman!

'Batman started to make noises, and had a concentrated look on his face.'HHNNNNNNNNN' He made a strange loud noise as he ejaculated.

Batman sat back in his seat, grinning.'Ah, that was sooo good, we should do it again sometime. You're amazing.' Robin stroked his arm, and re-buttoned up his outfit.

Batman chuckled and patted Robin's bum as he left the vehicle the same way he came, horny and clad in spandex.

THE END


End file.
